She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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