college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
