Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize