Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
