Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
