Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
