Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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