i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
