and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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