would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
We left the knife in your bed.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Randomize
