I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
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I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
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Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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