you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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