I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
