My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize