Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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