Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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