Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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