did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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