is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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