his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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