I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
