I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
the day after is always just damage control
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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