I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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