So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize