There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
