I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
