I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
