wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
