I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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