haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I want to make a zoo with you.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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