puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You had me at "let me see your balls"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
