Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
