Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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