I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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