You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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