I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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