I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
