3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
