He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
