We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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