Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
