Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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