he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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