Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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