i would punch a child for taco bell
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
