im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
