I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize