Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
