It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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