I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
