Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
