I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Randomize
