i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
