Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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