Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
