piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
