i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
