a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
