i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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